A magazine recently ran a "Dilbert Quotes" contest. They were lookingfor people to submit quotes from their real-life Dilbert-type managers. Here are some of the winners that cracked me up:
- Boss: "As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the buildingusing individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday, and employees will receive their cards in two weeks."
- Boss:"What I need is an exact list of specific unknown problems we might encounter."
- Boss: "This project is so important we can't let things that are more important interfere with it."
- Boss: "Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule."
- Boss: "No one will believe you solved this problem in one day! We've beenworking on it for months. Now go act busy for a few weeks and I'll letyou know when it's time to tell them."
- Boss: "Teamwork is a lot of people doing what I say."
- My sister passed away and her funeral was scheduled for Monday. When I told my Boss, he said she died on purpose so that I would have to misswork on the busiest day of the year. He then asked if we could changeher burial to Friday. He said, "That would be better for me."
- Boss: "We know that communication is a problem, but the company is not goingto discuss it with the employees."
A magazine recently ran a "Dilbert Quotes" contest. They were lookingfor people to submit quotes from their real-life Dilbert-type managers. Here are some of the winners that cracked me up:
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